Signs your teen might be struggling with their mental health (and what you can do about it)

Parenting a teenager is a wild ride—one minute they’re laughing at one of your dad jokes, the next they’re slamming their door and blaring the latest Billie Eilish album. Some mood swings are just part of growing up, but sometimes, there’s something deeper going on. As a parent, you know your kid best, but even the most tuned-in parents can miss the early signs that their teen is struggling with their mental health.

The good news? You don’t have to be a therapist to help. You just need to know what to look for and how to start the conversation. Here are some key signs that your teen might need extra support—and how you can step in.

1. Big changes in mood or personality

Teenagers are known for mood swings, but if your teen suddenly seems like a completely different person, it’s worth paying attention. Are they more irritable, withdrawn or on edge than usual? Do they seem unusually down, hopeless or anxious? Trust your gut—if something feels “off,” it probably is.

What you can do: Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with you?” try, “I’ve noticed you’ve been feeling [sad/angry/different] lately. Do you want to talk about it?” Keep it open-ended and judgment-free.

2. Withdrawing from friends, family and activities

A teen who used to love hanging out with friends but now spends all their time alone? A kid who drops out of sports, clubs or hobbies they used to enjoy? These are red flags that shouldn’t be ignored. Isolation is a major sign of depression and anxiety.

What you can do: Let them know you’ve noticed the change. Say something like, “I see you haven’t been going out with your friends much. I just want to check in and see how you’re feeling.”

3. Changes in sleep patterns

Sleep is a big deal for mental health. If your teen is suddenly staying up all night, sleeping all day or struggling with insomnia, it could be a sign of stress, anxiety or depression. On the flip side, sleeping way too much can also be a symptom of something deeper.

What you can do: Gently ask about their sleep without making it sound like an interrogation. “You’ve been looking really tired lately. Are you having trouble sleeping?” This opens the door for conversation without making them defensive.

4. Changes in appetite or weight

Mental health struggles often show up physically, and one big way is through eating habits. If your teen is suddenly skipping meals, binge eating or experiencing noticeable weight changes, it could be a sign of emotional distress or even an eating disorder.

What you can do: Avoid commenting on their body. Instead, say, “I’ve noticed you haven’t been eating much lately—how are you feeling?” This keeps the focus on their emotions rather than their appearance.

5. Struggling in school

A sudden drop in grades, missing assignments or skipping school altogether can all be signs of anxiety, depression or other mental health concerns. If a teen who used to care about school now seems completely checked out, it’s worth asking why.

What you can do: Instead of focusing on grades, focus on their well-being. “I see you’re having a tough time with school lately. Do you want to talk about what’s making it hard?”

6. Increased risky behaviour

If your teen is suddenly acting recklessly—drinking, using drugs, driving dangerously or engaging in self-harm—it’s a major warning sign. Sometimes, risky behaviour is a way of coping with emotional pain.

What you can do: This is a tough one, but staying calm is key. “I’m really worried about you. Can we talk about what’s going on? I just want to help.” If you suspect substance use or self-harm, professional help is essential.

7. Expressing hopelessness or suicidal thoughts

If your teen talks about feeling worthless, like a burden or wanting to disappear, take it seriously. Even offhand comments like, “I just don’t care anymore” or “I wish I could just go to sleep and not wake up” should never be ignored.

What you can do: Ask directly but gently: “I heard you say [the concerning statement]. Are you feeling like you don’t want to be here anymore?” It might feel scary to ask, but research shows that talking about it doesn’t plant the idea—it actually helps.

If you’re ever worried your child is in immediate danger, reach out for professional help right away.

How to support your teen without pushing them away

• Be available, but don’t force it. Sometimes, teens just need to know you’re there. Let them know they can come to you anytime, no pressure.

• Listen more than you talk. If they do open up, resist the urge to jump in with solutions. Just listen.

• Normalize mental health. Let them know that needing help is normal—just like seeing a doctor for a physical illness. Mental health is health.

• Get professional support if needed. If your teen’s struggles are beyond what you can handle alone, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Therapists, school counsellors and support groups can make a huge difference.

You’re not in this alone

It’s not easy watching your child struggle, but you don’t have to do this alone. If you’re worried about your teen, trust your instincts and reach out for support. Whether it’s a conversation at home, connecting with a school counsellor or seeking professional help, taking action now can make all the difference.

At Just Us, we’re here to help. If you need guidance, resources or just someone to talk to, reach out. We offer free and low-cost counselling for in-person in Saint John or Fredericton, and virtually across  New Brunswick, so your child can get the support they need—without barriers. Contact us today to learn more or to set up an appointment. Because no one should have to go through this alone—not your teen, and not you either.